Tuesday, 4 October 2016

you never know


04 / 10 / 2016



When I started this blog in 2011 my life was completely different than it is today. It's wild for me to think that five years ago I had just started a career in social services, just started living with my then boyfriend, was managing to make rent on time, and still felt completely free to travel and do what I wanted in my leisure. I enjoyed very ordinary things, like cooking dinner parties where my guests acted as the ever willing test subjects for whatever experiment I set on the table before them. I started an herb garden out of a small wooden trough I found in our back alley, thus making my foray into the world of gardening. I bought a lawn chair with which to sit beside the fire pit in the backyard of the century old home where I lived (and loved, even despite the yearly basement flooding). I had a career and some extra money and I could invest my time in those things I wished to learn about- it was a selfish and beautiful time in my life.

Fast forward to Christmastime that year, my boyfriend and I split up, and I was mournfully heartbroken. It was awful. He moved out and I found a roommate. And I ate nachos everyday. It got even worse when 2 months later he took a job up North and we decided that yes, we really were broken up, and we weren't going to see or talk to each other any more. What made this even more terrible was that I was about to turn 30 years old, and I had missed my formative years and was going to end up a spinster (though if I had only known how much interesting stuff spinsters got to do)... It just wasn't what I had expected.

I got my act together out of sheer will, going full force with whatever I felt like experiencing. A trip was booked to Greece at the last minute, and ended up taking me to Prague and Berlin with some new and incredible friends. I took dance classes and pottery classes. I found the most incredible and sweetest roommate ever. I kept on cooking dinner parties, and I held girl's nights at my home. I threw myself an amazing 30th birthday, complete with artificial Christmas trees and trivia. I went on a bunch of first dates too. It was a gala year, and thank goodness, because before I knew it my previous boyfriend and I reconnected at our mutual friends wedding, and after dating in secret for 5 months (was this smart? should I be back together with him? Yes? !!!) we found ourselves surprised to be expecting a real, human baby.

We welcomed the most beautiful, amazing, life-changing baby girl on Christmas day of 2013. She was born with the help of midwives in our sunken bathtub, with my mother and sister there supporting Patrick and I to the fullest extent. I fell in love with Juliette instantaneously. It was a significant change from being care- and fancy free to suddenly caring 24/7 for a small human, but I felt a sureness in my role, and with the support of my boyfriend, decided I would not return back to my position in social services, but instead stay home with our child full-time. In the following year we bought a house together and were again happily surprised to find we were expecting another wee babe. Shortly after finding out I was pregnant I was given the most perfect owl ring that Patrick had been designing for five months and he asked me to be his wife.

Following a walk in the park behind our home, we welcomed for a second time the most beautiful, amazing, life-changing baby girl on a sunny and brisk day the following September. We planned on Patrick taking five months off from working out of town to spend time with us and live with our small family, but the recession hit, five months turned into seven months and it was touch and go for a while if we would stay afloat. Luckily he found a good job in town, beating out 375 other applicants in this hungry time. This summer we married in the mountains, and now I find myself beyond fortunate to have more happiness in my life than I had ever imagined.

I am excited for what lays ahead and I hope you'll join me as I try my hardest to create, explore, and celebrate the life that I've found myself in. I've taken down the previous posts dating back from 2011, but will be sharing some key memories over the next few weeks for an unbelievable walk down memory lane.